Ben Cohen


Here’s A Revolutionary Idea

It’s the end of May, which means it’s time for people to start talking about the absurdity of aluminum bats again. Instead of simply reverting to wood bats, more and more amateur players are shifting to the other end of the spectrum, and without repercussions.

This long-controversial issue is in the news because college baseball teams are inching toward the postseason, when it becomes apparent every year that college baseball and minor league baseball are about as different as T-ball and Little League. College baseball teams have access to the newest, most expensive, most powerful — and thus, most dangerous — bats, the majority of which are now composites of metal and carbon nano-tube technology.

But that’s not good enough. Why settle to hit 400 feet when you can slam 450-feet homers? So players have begun to pay outside firms $30 to “roll” their bats (two for $45!), evenly breaking in the aluminum slab and removing centimeters of dead spots. Hit for power today, satisfaction guaranteed! Meanwhile, college baseball games have turned into home-run derbies with No. 9 hitters poking junk pitches for opposite field dingers.

Naturally, though, the debate doesn’t concern metal vs. wood. It’s been reduced to metal vs. a better kind of metal.



Filed under: Deadspin


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