Ben Cohen

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What I’ve Learned

“Just a reminder, Ben Cohen is Deadspin’s summer intern,” A.J. wrote in May. “His time at Deadspin… is part of his educational and life experience. So consider yourselves all mentors.” Well, I thought then, this should be fairly catastrophic.

Ten weeks later, and today is my last day on the job; I’m already reflecting on this so-called internship with something close to reverence. At some point, I’m going to have to write up a recap of my summer vacation for school, so A.J., being the conscientious boss that he is, suggested I get a head start by sharing with the world the wisdom I’ve accrued.

I thought for days. Asked my friends. Consulted a Magic-8 ball. Considered a tutorial in fiction-writing.

Finally, I turned to Stephon Marbury. He suggested the format of Esquire’s “What I’ve Learned,” with him serving as the invisible interviewer. I said I would write up the answers without bothering him to ask the questions, but by that point, he was already ranting about Canadian healthcare reform and had forgotten why we were talking in the first place.

I didn’t! So here’s what you spinpeople have taught me. I now pronounce myself sage from your guidance.

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