Ben Cohen

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Food And Drink For Thought

The Evian Masters offered car service and breakfast and a private golf critique on the Hudson with Natalie Gulbis, and when someone offers a town car, an omelet bar and golf lessons with a star, it’s generally polite to accept.

So I did. And I lounged, and I ate. I drank my glass of water and I ogled the stack of pink “I ♥ Evian Masters” backpacks. I endured a PowerPoint presentation about the core values of Evian and the Evian Masters and learned that Gulbis, ladies and gentlemen, is the true-to-form, glamorous embodiment of those same buzzwords. Which is why I’m about to treat this sun-splashed club like it’s my local, bare-bones range, carpet on the miniature golf course shagging at the seams.

At least, that’s what I think. At the time, and even a week later, I’m still not quite sure what I was doing inside, where a sparkling chandelier adorns the room and bowtied waiters ask if we need a refill on our glasses of water and a chef in a New York Mets cap flips eggs in the corner. The Evian bottles are big and small, glass and plastic, simple and ornate — designer, even, I’m told later — and I’m scared to touch them. Everything is so precious and delicate, and transporting a room full of people to the Evian Royal Resort, but an ocean away, is dreamy, if not realistic. But then that’s the point, I suppose.

Then Natalie Gulbis walks in, and the overhanging lights and buffet bar seem less thrilling.

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